


A Girl Worth Fighting For

by marzbarz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-30
Updated: 2012-05-30
Packaged: 2017-11-06 08:24:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marzbarz/pseuds/marzbarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the beginning, Castiel fell to fight for Dean. But that's not the only reason any more. Sam/Castiel pre-slash, spoilers up through 5x18.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Girl Worth Fighting For

In the beginning, Castiel fell for Dean. He gave up everything and began to fall because he thought it was wrong to be manipulating events in this way, and Dean had affected him in a way that he couldn't explain. A small part of him also thought of Sam Winchester, but not as more than "the boy with the demon blood" or "the abomination".

Somehow, so slowly that it took a long time for Castiel to notice, this changed.

Dean Winchester was fairly straightforward. He had respect for very few people, although Castiel suspected that he was starting to earn a place on that list. He had a remarkably black and white view of the world, considering the life he led. He was fiercely loyal to his family and refused to give up on his brother. Castiel had seen Dean at his lowest point, and had grown to admire him.

Sam was a different matter.

Sam Winchester, Castiel discovered, was a study in contradictions. He had been damned since before he was even conceived, yet he had more faith than the vast majority of humanity. He had unleashed the ultimate evil, yet he only had the best intentions. There was demon blood flowing in his veins, yet underneath that taint his soul shone brighter than most. He was a fierce warrior who could think rationally in any circumstance, yet he was the most compassionate human Castiel had ever encountered. He refused to see the world in the same black and white terms as his brother, instead seeing events and people in shades of grey. Sam Winchester was so much more than the angels had assumed he was, and to Castiel he was fascinating.

He first began to notice how much the youngest Winchester had begun to matter to him while trapped in a ring of holy fire. When he told Lucifer that he would not let him near Sam Winchester, it was only partly because he didn't want his brother to gain his true vessel. Once he had rejoined the brothers, he realized that he had simply not wanted Sam to be hurt. He was beginning to feel protective of Sam in much the same way he felt protective of Dean.

Not that long after, Anna came after Sam. When Castiel took the brothers to the past to stop her, he attached small slivers of his Grace to their souls, so that he could keep track of them to take them home. When Sam was killed the sliver attached to his soul was returned, and Castiel felt a strange pain in his chest and a burning in his eyes that he later identified as grief and tears. Upon his return to the present, he was happy to find Sam alive, although he fell unconscious once more before he could tell him. When he awoke once more he had the strange urge to wrap his arms around Sam, but an inner voice that sounded suspiciously like Dean's voice told him it would be awkward.

And then came the business with Famine, and Sam's self-imposed detox in the panic room; Castiel did not leave Bobby's basement until it was over, sitting against the door and wishing he could heal Sam with a touch. As he listened to Sam scream and beg, he realized that while he was still protective of his charge, he was just as protective of the younger Winchester. Once, while extremely inebriated, Dean had confessed that sometimes he wanted to hide Sam away from everything that could hurt him; Castiel could now say he understood the feeling (although Dean didn't remember the conversation and he thought it would be unwise to bring it up again).

After embarking on what he had heart called a "bender" Castiel was surprised to find Sam still fighting, still trying to save people. And after he had endured a hangover (obviously his Father's most severe punishment for gluttony) he was promptly attacked by the Whore of Babylon, who latched on to what remained of his Grace and tried to tear it apart. When he had finally recovered Dean was gone, and Castiel lost all faith in the man he had fallen for – until he realized that while he began to fall when he decided to fight for Dean, he now fought for Sam as well.

It took him by surprise, how much he cared for the youngest Winchester, and he realized with some dismay that he had developed what humans called a "crush". And Sam took care of him even as they chased after Dean, and only the thought that Sam would be disappointed kept him from unleashing his anger and frustration until Dean banished him.

While some of the anger and frustration that he pounded into Dean was caused by Dean trying to surrender, a surprisingly large part was because of what Dean had said to Sam. Castiel still felt anger when he thought of Sam's expression as he had emerged from the basement. He didn't understand how Dean could be so cruel to the one person who refused to give up on him. And then Adam is taken, and everything else must be pushed aside to get him back.

Even if Dean doesn't believe in Sam, Castiel does, regardless of how foolish he thinks it is that Sam is bringing Dean with them to rescue Adam. The only positive feature of Dean's presence is that Sam will not be going in alone, since Castiel's plan means he will not be able to provide Sam backup. He is confident that Dean will make sure Sam stays alive, if nothing else.

Sam wants to know what he's going to do, but Castiel doesn't want him to know. Instead he reaches up and pulls Sam down, then presses a kiss to his forehead. He pulls away with a small smile, tells Sam to be careful, and quickly turns away before either Winchester can speak. He swiftly cuts the banishing symbol into his chest as he reaches to open the door and thinks 'If I survive this, next time I will kiss Sam on the lips.' He thinks of the way Sam looked at him just seconds ago, draws his sword, and steps into the warehouse.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Supernatural fic I wrote, so it might be a little shaky. Let me know what you think!


End file.
